Do the numbers, do the numbers you say
After you spin, twirl and wiggle along the corridor
While I fill up your bath
Craig Revel Hall you shout
4 I reply
Oh no! you gasp
Shirley Something you say
A ten from Shirley, never too early I reply
Yes! You shriek, a smile as wide as your ears
Mokski you say
9 
Yessssssss
Anton Du Wotsit you announce
7 I say
Nooo mum say 8 
8 I say
Whoopie! Good old Anton you shout
And you run along the corridor into my arms 
Grinning from ear to ear
Do it again, do it again you demand
But this time I want 40!
And so it goes on 
Until the bath is full
And then it’s my turn
And Craig gives me a 1
And you fall about laughing
And you can’t believe Craig would do that
Even though you’re being Craig
And so it goes on
And on
And on
And on

And on.

Sunday cooking 
Batch cooking
Make enough for the week cooking
Thinking ahead cooking
Trying to cook as quickly as I can cooking
Saving time in the days to come cooking
Saving money cooking
Let’s have something from the freezer cooking
At least it will be home cooked cooking
‘Please play’ you say ‘and stop your cooking’
‘Just need a little bit longer’ I reply 
‘What about me’ shouts the oven
‘The oil is ready now’ says the frying pan
‘Chop me up, chop me up’ chirp the vegetables
‘Play, play, PLAY’ you shout 
The cacophony of demands ringing in my ears
From the real to the imaginary
Everything blurs
I fast forward to the days ahead
When I wake up from my bed
And choose something from the freezer
To help life feel a bit easier 
Batch cooking all the way
Just need a little bit longer and then I’ll play.

I drop something
You say Shit
You laugh knowing it’s a word not for you 
I think oh no I’ve said it too many times
A bit later you drop a spoon
You say What the Hell 
I think oh no I’ve said it too many times
The next day you’re struggling to put on your shoes
You said Ucking Nell
I think oh no I’ve said it too many times
I try hard to say 
Sugar Plum Fairies
It doesn’t have the same Umph.
Bollocks.