‘Want to come in your room’ you say at 5am Oh no, I think, please, please not again ‘Want to come in your room’ you say with a whine Be strong I think, she’s not coming in this time I say ‘just lie down for a little bit more I’ll come back soon and open the door’ ‘No, no want to come in your room’ You voice echoes in the dark ‘Ooh Little Roo, it’s such an early start’ ‘I’ll lie down and go to sleep’ you say with a plead 2 years ago you used to wake for early feeds The pattern of waking changes from time to time At the moment 5am is not a favourite of mine ‘But no Little Roo it’s just too early’ ‘But I want to come in your bed, it’s so cosy’ ‘Well we can make a deal which is you must lie down Please be quiet for a while, it’s too early for sound’ ‘Yes yes’ you say, ‘I wuv you Mummy’ That makes it harder and also quite funny ‘Come on then’ I say with a yawn We clamber into my bed where it’s still a bit warm I lie down and say ‘lie down too’ ‘Books, milk and animals’ ‘Oohhhh Little Roo We made a deal, I just need a bit longer’ ‘Nooo’ you say leaving me no time to ponder And so the day starts too soon once again Better plan the day and find a friend.

I roared like a lion in your face You didn’t flinch an inch You told me to keep still I told you to fuck off You didn’t flinch an inch I roared like a lion in your face You didn’t flinch an inch You told me you’d do the epidural You skilfully timed it in between contractions You didn’t flinch an inch I roared like a lion in your face Then the drugs kicked in I looked at you and felt bad for what I’d said You knew what I was thinking You smiled You didn’t flinch an inch.

I don’t need anything I would say regularly She’ll live outside and run nappy free We’ve got the birds, the sky, the lime tree I don’t need anything I would say regularly She’ll have enough to look at And she can play with me I don’t need anything Oh how wrong I could be About needing anything Apart from the giant lime tree

Just enjoy the moment People say I hear this Almost everyday It won’t last forever I do know that Soon she’ll be painting her nails And moving out of the flat It’s all very well I think in my head But when I’ve had forty minutes sleep All I can think about is bed And I do enjoy the moment Just not every one There are so many in a day But I do enjoy some

Everything seems to happen In ten minute bursts I can put you in the rocking chair Have a shower and wash my hair Sometimes I can make breakfast Occasionally eat it too And then the time is up And it’s back to me and you

You laughed today My heart missed a beat I couldn’t quite believe it Fleeting but what a treat A few days later You smiled This time your eyes joined in Your dimple in your left cheek showed Oh what a treat

You’re like a little mole Your eyes tightly shut Snuffling and sniffing Burrowing through a sleepy hole

