Am I enough I ask myself regularly In my head When I’m in bed When I say night night to you and your lamby Am I doing enough with you Playing enough Being fun enough Nice enough Or am I snappy like a crocodile Roar like a lion a bit too much I thought I’d be a Fun Mum Wild and whacky Driving around Europe When you’re still in nappies Sleeping in campsites Which we just come across Finding idealic places when we get lost Going off piste Up a mountain Into a forest Sleeping in a meadow field Eating what we find Berries in the hedgerows Apples from an orchard Grapes from a hidden tree Catching fish from a stream Camping out under the stars But no I can manage 3 nights away in our van With next to no sleep And very few plans We can make it up on the spot Improvise Be spontaneous For a bit Toast mashmellows around the campfire Feel the grass Beneath our feet Before looking forward to coming back home Where old toys seem new The place doesn’t seem as messy I don’t feel so stressy I see our house with new eyes Your eyes My eyes Our eyes And the park that we go to nearly everyday Seems fresh and new Even I want to play So maybe A few nights away suits us for now And we can dream of being In far off lands The day will come When we make it to Africa And Denmark France and Spain When we immerse ourselves In other cultures Again and again But for now we’ll try to conquer Short breaks away in the van And be grateful for doing as well as we can.
Noticing Things
The first night away from each other for months. You’re staying at Granny’s. I’m noticing things which I don’t normally have time to notice. I notice there are cobwebs on the wall I notice there’s dust on the skirting boards I notice the plug in the sitting room makes a high pitched noise I notice the oven clock sometimes ticks even though it’s not working. I notice the tap in the kitchen drips more than I though it did I notice your hand prints on the sitting room window I notice a line of crumbs at the edge of the carpet I notice Suzy sheep poking her head out from underneath the red pouffe “Hello Suzy, I wonder how long you’ve been there”. I notice the bump under the bathroom rug Which I’ve been stepping on for months, I realise I have time to investigate. It’s a 5p. I notice red pen on the sofa cushions I notice pasta sauce in folds of the curtain I notice the travel books on the shelves and wonder if we’ll ever use them I notice the birds chirping in the evening light I notice how I’m looking forward to sleeping more than 6 hours in a row I notice I’m missing you but I know you’re enjoying yourself And so am I. I notice I keep reading the same line in my book I notice how tired I am I notice your familiar snuffles as I drift off to sleep even though you’re not here Snuffle snuffle And off I go To sleep.
Thank you Michael Palin
(Written during lockdown)
Hooray for the Clangers For Michael Palin’s Soothing voice As he translates Tiny and Smalls Clanger language With curious accuracy. He understands the Clangers And I think I do too If I could live anywhere else I’d live on The Clangers planet Where the Iron Chicken sings lullabies at bedtime The Sky Moos flap their Ears like wings The Singing Flowers help out with Tiny’s orchestra And the Cloud rains musical raindrops. “I want to watch the Clangers Mummy” “Yippee” I shriek with excitement And we bundle ourselves up together In front of the fire With covers wrapped around us. You sit on my lap while I smell your hair. We laugh as Froglets change colour and Bounce about like you. Mother Clanger walks around in a daze like me. Granny Clanger makes me laugh, Sitting on a green pouf meditating With oversized cotton balls stuffed in her ears. While Major Clanger invents Pointless pieces of equipment To try to solve problems. When there’s a breeze or the Clangers are running Their ears flap back and forth And I laugh and wonder Who had the final say On their ears flapping that way. For 11 minutes we are in harmony No rushing, no cross words between us Just the warm fuzzy feeling Of shared enjoyment after a day of Riding the rollercoaster of solo parenting. So thank you Michael Palin For allowing myself permission To find my inner child With my little child in these tricky times. I believe you live in the Clangers Planet Maybe one day we’ll see you there.
little voices 