Have you been to Lak...
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One day I’ll get to finish my sentences 
to friends in the park but for now I’ll 
just have to be patie...

You shout in my face
You say I smell of poo
You try to bite me 
You say “I don’t like you”
You wail on the floor
You go bright red
You throw your shoes around
And shake your head
You look explosive
It’s hard not to match you
With your threenager roars
I try it out 
I get on all fours
And I roar my terrible roars 
Like the Wild Things do
With Max when he says to his Mum
"I'll eat you up".
I stomp about the kitchen
I slam doors
I match your behaviour 
And forget all my chores
I hit the door 
I lie on the floor
I’m a Wild Thing after all
And I realise you’re looking at me
As if I was three
For a moment there’s silence 
As you try to work out
What the hell I’m on about
Then you carry on
And I collapse in a heap
Until I find the energy 
To try every technique 
To help you out of this rage
It’s like you’re stuck on the same page
Over and over you go
And then boom you’ve stopped
Just like that
Something must have finally snapped
You out of your trance
And into a dance
As if nothing happened
And I’m left wondering if I just imagined
Everything I saw
I feel like I’ve been washed up on the shore
And so the day continues
And finishes 
And another day starts
And your roars keep coming
Again and again
Never failing to leave me wondering
Is this just what happens 
And I have to remind myself
You’re three
I’m not
So just keep loving you
And remember we are so lucky 
With everything we've got.

Am I enough
I ask myself regularly
In my head
When I’m in bed
When I say night night to you and your lamby
Am I doing enough with you
Playing enough
Being fun enough
Nice enough
Or am I snappy like a crocodile
Roar like a lion a bit too much
I thought I’d be a Fun Mum
Wild and whacky 
Driving around Europe 
When you’re still in nappies
Sleeping in campsites 
Which we just come across
Finding idealic places when we get lost
Going off piste
Up a mountain
Into a forest
Sleeping in a meadow field
Eating what we find
Berries in the hedgerows
Apples from an orchard
Grapes from a hidden tree
Catching fish from a stream
Camping out under the stars 
But no
I can manage 3 nights away in our van
With next to no sleep
And very few plans
We can make it up on the spot
Improvise
Be spontaneous 
For a bit
Toast mashmellows around the campfire
Feel the grass
Beneath our feet
Before looking forward to coming back home
Where old toys seem new
The place doesn’t seem as messy
I don’t feel so stressy
I see our house with new eyes
Your eyes
My eyes
Our eyes
And the park that we go to nearly everyday 
Seems fresh and new
Even I want to play
So maybe 
A few nights away suits us for now
And we can dream of being 
In far off lands
The day will come
When we make it to Africa
And Denmark
France and Spain
When we immerse ourselves
In other cultures
Again and again
But for now we’ll try to conquer
Short breaks away in the van
And be grateful for doing as well as we can.