The Voice In My Head #2

Am I enough
I ask myself regularly
In my head
When I’m in bed
When I say night night to you and your lamby
Am I doing enough with you
Playing enough
Being fun enough
Nice enough
Or am I snappy like a crocodile
Roar like a lion a bit too much
I thought I’d be a Fun Mum
Wild and whacky 
Driving around Europe 
When you’re still in nappies
Sleeping in campsites 
Which we just come across
Finding idealic places when we get lost
Going off piste
Up a mountain
Into a forest
Sleeping in a meadow field
Eating what we find
Berries in the hedgerows
Apples from an orchard
Grapes from a hidden tree
Catching fish from a stream
Camping out under the stars 
But no
I can manage 3 nights away in our van
With next to no sleep
And very few plans
We can make it up on the spot
Be spontaneous 
For a bit
Toast mashmellows around the campfire
Feel the grass
Beneath our feet
Before looking forward to coming back home
Where old toys seem new
The place doesn’t seem as messy
I don’t feel so stressy
I see our house with new eyes
Your eyes
My eyes
Our eyes
And the park that we go to nearly everyday 
Seems fresh and new
Even I want to play
So maybe 
A few nights away suits us for now
And we can dream of being 
In far off lands
The day will come
When we make it to Africa
And Denmark
France and Spain
When we immerse ourselves
In other cultures
Again and again
But for now we’ll try to conquer
Short breaks away in the van
And be grateful for doing as well as we can.