(Written during lockdown)

The roundabout goes on
Never stopping
Round and round
The roundabout can’t slow down
You don’t slow down
No time to think 
Just do
And keep going
Never stopping 
I start making dinner
“Muuuuuum I need a wee”
You sit on the potty
I carry on cooking our dinner
“Muuuuuum I’ve finished”
You finish on the potty
I carry on cooking our dinner
“Muuuuuum I want to watch something”
“Please, say please 
It makes all the difference”
“Please can I watch something”
We decide on Daniel Tiger 
I carry on cooking our dinner
“Muuuuuu I’m hungry”
“Please say please 
It makes all the difference” 
Repeat 
Repeat
Repeat
I give you a snack 
To help buy me time 
To continue cooking our dinner
So close to eating and so far away
“Muuuuuum” and so it goes on
I listen to the radio
Zoe Ball and Sara Cox bookend my day
I’ve grown to like them
It feels like I know them
I dance in the kitchen
You look up from Daniel Tiger
You laugh and run in to join me 
We giggle and dance 
Around the dusty kitchen floor
That needs sweeping
And save that for another day.
This roundabout is dancing now 
My favourite thing to do
Dinner can wait
Dancing can never wait
This roundabout goes on.

(Written during lockdown)

I see the white wall 
In the garden 
That I painted 
In the summer. 
I stare at it 
Each time we eat. 
In the white wall 
I see festivals
Trips in the van 
Dancing in fields 
Picnics with family 
The sky as I go running
And swims in the sea 
With the sun shining 
In the early morning.
Daydreams happen 
In that white wall 
Just for seconds 
At a time. 
In between conversations 
About Elsa, Arna and Olaf 
Or chatter about our plans 
For the day ahead, 
Who we’re going to see 
Or what we have done. 
It’s my white square 
Of white wall 
That I see as I 
Daydream
With you always 
Nearby
Chirping away.

(Written during lockdown)

I know there’s a world 
That goes on around us
But for now I am in it
With you, my 3 year old.
Absorbed, emerged, sunk in.
Deep down, under water.
The rest of life continues
And every now and then 
I come up for air.
It’s been months now
I’ve been waking up between 5 and 6am
I’ve been going to bed by 9.30pm
To make sure I get enough sleep.
Trying to read a few pages of a book
Before collapsing into a deep
Brief sleep
Which keeps me going,
Until the next night.
I’ll look back at this time
As the intense, engulfing torrent 
That was lockdown.
Working at home, living at home
Trying to be present with you
At home
Knowing that a tidal wave of work
Hides behind the laptop
And the work phone and I'm always
Within earshot of its shrill ring.
Put that out of my mind, my head
My busy head full of thoughts
Flying along 
Like lorries on a motorway
Looking for the next service station
Where they can pull in and take a break
But that break 
Is still a little bit far away.
Maybe the next week
Or week after.
Come on lockdown, ease up
Before my mind freezes up
And me and you
Merge into one.