Everywhere you go, you eat
So there are crumbs in my bed
There are crumbs on the floor
There are crumbs in my bag
There are crumbs in my coat pocket
There are crumbs stuck to my socks
There are crumbs in your hair.
I remember a time without crumbs
In my bed.
That's something I miss
An uncrumby bed.
But then if I had an uncrumby bed
I wouldn't have you
So I'll live with a crumby bed
Even though
In the night when I roll over onto crumbs
I swear and try to brush them out
But they never fully go.
There's always one or two
That stay.
So for the next 10 years
I'll probably have a crumby bed
Unless we stop having breakfast in bed
At the weekend
But I hope we never stop that.
I haven't considered the issue of crumbs
In so much depth until now.

You fell over your scooter at nursery
And grazed your knee
The teacher put a mesh thing on it
The blood dried and got stuck.
That was a new experience for you and me
Oh the noise when you looked at it
"Stop looking at it" I say
"You stop looking at it" you say
And you wail at the horror of the unfamiliar 
Graze.
You took ages to go to sleep that night
Crying in pain with all of your might
The walls seemed to shake
And so did my brain.
When you were finally quiet
I lay in bed thinking
I really need to take the mesh thing off
So it can breathe.
I crept into your room
In the depths of the night
And as you breathed out
I pulled it
And didn't stop until it was off.
You woke and groaned
"My graze, my graze"
And I stopped still
Then you started snoring again.
I crept back to bed
Breathed out and finally slept.

People say "You look so tall
You're growing up
You're one of the tallest 3 year olds I know"
And so the comments go
And yes you are getting taller
And yes you are growing up
But today you fell off the toilet seat
For no apparent reason
And I thought to myself
Good, you might be getting taller
But you're still 3 years old
And you won't do that when you're grown up.
You still put your head in the arm hole
Of your T-shirt
You still fall to the floor and shout 
When you can't put a pen lid on
You still dress up as Cotton Tail
And eat dinner and chat 
As if it's the most normal thing ever
You still refuse to let me wash your hair
You still burst into tears
When your bottom and legs get stuck to the chair
Because you've decided to wear 
Nothing at breakfast
You still make up your own language 
And think it's the funniest thing ever
You still like singing the Spanish version
Of 'Let It Go' at the top of your voice
Running down the street in fairy wings
And a witch's dress and no pants
So please grow up slowly
And continue to fall off the toilet seat
Because I don't do that now
And I wish I still did.