(Written at the start of lockdown)

My wild side looks similar 
To when we went to Glastonbury 
I haven’t showered since Sunday
I’ve worn the same clothes on 
And off for nearly 4 weeks
Apart from my pants
My hair remains unwashed 
Since maybe end of last week
We’re eating what we have 
And buy what we need
I’ve got a suntanned face 
From unexpected sun
I fall into bed completely 
Shattered 
And sleep deeply for a few hours
Then wake with a start 
And rub my eyes 
And put on the same clothes 
And repeat
And repeat
And repeat.
It’s the wild side for now
And it’s becoming normal.

(Written during lockdown)

We’ll make play dough
Of all different colours
No you said
We’ll draw rainbow pictures 
And put them all over the window
No you said
We’ll make banana muffins
And have a teddy bears picnic
No you said
We’ll make our own ice lollies
We’ll put fruit in them
No you said
We’ll make a den with boxes
And paint them bright colours
No you said
We’ll paint our face and be animals
No you said
We’ll make a daisy chain necklace
No you said
I mix pink food colouring 
into white sauce 
Just for fun
Don’t do that again mummy
I make a rainbow 
and put it in the window
Take it down Mummy
No I said
I make muffins 
and forget to add the butter
They taste a bit funny mummy
And so we walk on the wall
Around the park
We watch ice cubes melt
You make a nest with cushions
We water the plants
You water the ground 
And make patterns 
To jump over 
You know what you want
The clue to what we do
Is you
Not ideas 
But the real deal
In front of me
That’s the clue
To deciding what we do
 

(Written during lockdown)

Mummy can you play with me
Just need to brush my teeth
Mummy...
And so it goes on
And the voice in my head says
She‘s asking to play, 
Don’t ignore that invitation 
And the other voice says
Don’t worry about brushing your
teeth
But the other voice says 
she can wait, 
it’s good for her to wait
And the other voice says
Put yourself first and brush your 
teeth
And the other voice says 
she can help  
brush your teeth and 
do hers at the same time 
And the other voice says 
Bollocks to that I just want 
2 minutes 
to brush my teeth alone. 
And it will be 2 minutes because 
it’s an electric toothbrush
And the other voice says 
2 minutes is that all you’re 
going to give yourself
And the other voice says 
maybe I’ll play first 
then brush them
And the other voice says 
you’re overthinking 
just brush your bloody teeth
And so it goes on 
in a split second
And that’s only one 
tiny weeny thing 
at the beginning of the day
And is it bedtime yet?
12 hours to go
And many more voices come and go
And I’m so lucky to have 
your voice speaking back at me
I just wish sometimes time could 
pause 
And I could have a breather 
From the familiar
And travel with my thoughts to 
wherever they want to go
Before they are stopped mid 
thought so abruptly
With a question from you
And the voice in my head 
never goes away
And there’s nobody else there 
to talk to 
Apart from the voice in my head
Am I up to the job of being a 
solo parent
If I am thinking like this
Is it normal to be thinking 
like this
I think so 
says the voice in my head
If there was someone else there
You would share
But there isn’t so you carry on
And do the best you can
And so it goes on
And the clock ticks on 
Because it can’t stop
And so it goes on
But one day soon
Hopefully we can see family
And friends and they can
Be that voice that talks back
But for now
Time goes on
the clock ticks on
You and me together
And we go on
And on 
And on...